Sally, 58, knew her blood sugar was on the high side. She missed a routine checkup during the pandemic, got out of the habit of seeing her doctor annually, and then waited several months for an appointment. By the time she was finally seen, her clinician diagnosed her with diabetes. Sally had an explanation for how she’d been feeling, but she also went home with a new prescription and a sheaf of diet and exercise handouts.
Life has a way of throwing curveballs at us. Maybe it’s a diabetes diagnosis that forces you to change your daily routine. Or perhaps it’s a digestive disorder that makes travel seem impossible, or anxiety that makes it hard to leave your apartment. Whatever your health challenge, you’ve probably discovered something important: Our physical health can affect every other aspect of our lives.
But here’s what thousands of people living with health conditions have discovered. You still get to choose what matters most.
Your health story is bigger than your diagnosis
When we think about health, we often focus on just the physical aspect: symptoms, medications, clinic visits. But as I’ve shared with patients, families, and caregivers for many years, and what the field of lifestyle medicine tells us, is that your health involves every part of you: your mind, emotions, relationships, social circle, and sense of purpose. Scientists call this the “bio-psycho-social-spiritual model” of health. We call it whole person health, and it explains why two people who share a medical diagnosis can have completely different experiences.¹
Take Tamirah, who was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis (RA) at 40. At first, the joint pain and fatigue were devastating. The prescribed medication helped, but it came with some side effects she had to deal with. However, after working with a whole person health clinician, Tamirah began to realize that managing her condition was about more than finding the right medication.
Tamirah began to rethink her priorities. She left the large city where she lived and moved to a quieter suburb. She made sleep a higher priority and started exploring the Mediterranean diet for its anti-inflammatory properties. Three years later, she describes her life as fuller and more satisfying than ever—not despite having RA but because the RA helped her focus on what truly mattered.
Of course, we don’t all have the ability to change jobs or move to support our health. But each of us can make some choices. This is where the HOPE Note comes in. It’s a tool your clinician can use to help you figure out what’s most important to you—what really matters. Then you can work together to figure out how to put that first.
When health care takes over your life
Maria learned this lesson the hard way. When she was driving to Kansas City five times a week for medical appointments—45 minutes each way, plus at least 45 minutes in the doctor’s office— her whole life revolved around her health condition. Between trying to eat perfectly, exercise religiously, attend all those appointments, go to therapy, listen to health podcasts, research medications, and follow Facebook support groups, she had become nothing but her diagnoses.
“I thought, ‘If you go all in, you’re definitely going to get better quicker, right?'” Maria reflects. “Not so much. I was spending so much time trying to fix it that I forgot I was a whole person with other interests and relationships.”
The reality is that chronic illnesses are long-term journeys, not destinations. Maria’s experience illustrates something crucial: Sometimes the pursuit of perfect health can actually diminish your overall quality of life.
The science of what moves the needle
Research in the field of lifestyle medicine reveals six specific areas that affect your health more than you may realize:1
- Nutrition as medicine. Studies consistently show that what we eat affects inflammation, energy levels, mood, and disease progression. This doesn’t mean perfect diets or restrictive eating—it means finding ways to nourish your body that work with your reality, not against it.
Check out our free, downloadable pocket guide to chronic pain and nutrition, or learn about the Mediterranean diet and similar approaches that lower inflammation in the body.
- Movement that’s more than physical. Exercise is medicine, but you don’t have to join a gym—unless you actually enjoy going to the gym. Research tells us that many different forms of movement improve physical, mental, and emotional health.
The key is connecting movement to what you already love. Maria discovered this when she realized she hated traditional workouts but loved gymnastics. “When I focused on functional movement that felt more like gymnastics, I didn’t hate it as much,” she says.
The same principle applies across the board. Randy, for example, has back problems, but wants to play with his grandkids. So standing up and sitting down on the floor becomes meaningful exercise. If you’re dreaming of hiking through Colorado, neighborhood walks become training for that adventure.
- Sleep as your superpower. How you sleep affects your whole body, including your immune system, pain perception, emotions, memory, and thinking. Making good sleep a high priority can dramatically improve your life. Most adults need seven to nine hours of sleep a night. If you’re not getting this much, talk to your clinician to help figure out what’s normal for you.2
- Stress management that actually works. Chronic stress wreaks havoc on every bodily system. But effective stress management looks different for everyone—meditation for some, creative pursuits for others, time in nature, or simply learning to say no. For a few days, notice when you feel stressed and when you don’t. What helps you relax? Schedule time on your calendar to do those activities regularly.
- Connection and community. Loneliness is as harmful to health as smoking 15 cigarettes daily, according to former U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy.3 In fact, loneliness and social isolation increase the risk of strokes and heart attacks by about 30%.4
Building meaningful relationships is even more crucial when facing health challenges. Try meeting others who have your health condition, in person or online. Other ways to build relationships include attending religious services, volunteering, taking an adult education class, or joining a club or Meetup group.
- Purpose and meaning. Studies show that people with a strong sense of purpose live longer, healthier lives.5 This doesn’t mean you have to go on a 10-day retreat to discover your purpose or study philosophies of life. It just means considering what’s meaningful to you and then making space for it.
For Carlos, a retired Army officer, volunteering with an organization that helps veterans learn to fly-fish helps him overlook the aches and pains from a demanding career. He attends meetings, organizes retreats, and takes joy in connecting with new people who share a common background.
The plot twist you didn’t see coming
Here’s what many people discover: Learning to live well with a health condition often leads to a richer, more intentional life. Not because the condition is good but because it strips away everything nonessential and reveals what actually matters.
You didn’t choose your health challenge, but you can choose how you respond to it. What are your wins each day? Maybe you prioritized relationships by listening to your sister on the phone when she needed support. Or perhaps you knocked out a three-item to-do list, then took a nice long nap. Whether you feel a sense of achievement, a sense of connection, or simply feel rested and energized, you get to choose.
Your health story is still being written. And you get to hold the pen.
Coming up in Part Two: The practical strategies for ruthless prioritization, building boundaries that work, and creating a personal health philosophy that guides your daily decisions.
References
- American College of Lifestyle Medicine. 6 Pillars of Lifestyle Medicine. Accessed June 5, 2025. https://lifestylemedicine.org/
- National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke. Brain Basics: Understanding Sleep. Accessed June 5, 2025. https://www.ninds.nih.gov/health-information/public-education/brain-basics/brain-basics-understanding-sleep
- Seitz A. Loneliness poses health risks as deadly as smoking, U.S. surgeon general says. PBS News Hour. May 2, 2023. Accessed June 5, 2025. https://www.pbs.org/newshour/health/loneliness-poses-health-risks-as-deadly-as-smoking-u-s-surgeon-general-says
- Valtorta NK, Kanaan M, Gilbody S, Ronzi S, Hanratty B. Loneliness and social isolation as risk factors for coronary heart disease and stroke: systematic review and meta-analysis of longitudinal observational studies. Heart. 2016 Jul 1;102(13):1009-16. doi: 10.1136/heartjnl-2015-308790.
- Kim ES, Chen Y, Nakamura JS, Ryff CD, VanderWeele TJ. Sense of purpose in life and subsequent physical, behavioral, and psychosocial Health: An outcome-wide approach. Am J Health Promot. 2022;36(1):137-147. doi:10.1177/08901171211038545
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