In Beyond the Diagnosis Part 1, we explored how health challenges affect every aspect of our lives and the science behind whole person health. Now comes the practical part: How do you actually redesign your life when your body changes the rules?
Living with a health condition often means your energy, time, and resources are more limited than before. However, this doesn’t have to be a roadblock to doing what you want. It’s an invitation to get crystal clear about your priorities and develop the skills to protect them.
Start with your non-negotiables
What activities, relationships, or experiences are absolutely essential to your wellbeing? Maybe it’s daily walks with your dog, weekly calls with your sister, or protecting your morning routine. Identify these first.
Audit your energy drains
Notice what consistently leaves you feeling depleted without adding value to your life. This might include certain social obligations, perfectionist tendencies, or habits that no longer serve you. You have permission to let these go.
Maria, whose military spouse responsibilities once took up the lion’s share of her schedule, developed a game-changing strategy: “I decided I would only attend three events a week. I pick the most important ones, and for anything else I ask if a) it’s necessary that I attend and b) whether it can be moved. If it can’t, I simply say that my calendar is full—remember, I’m already attending three events that week—but that I look forward to the next opportunity to see everyone.”
This same principle applies to medical appointments. When health care starts taking over your entire week, it’s time to have honest conversations with your care team about which appointments are truly essential and which ones can be combined, rescheduled, or handled differently, such as in a virtual visit.
Develop your energy-saving hacks
You may want to develop shortcuts for necessary tasks. Gwen, who has lupus, folds laundry and does all her food prepping sitting down. This simple move helps her conserve energy so she can do more of the things she enjoys.
Look for places where you can work smarter, not harder. Can you batch similar tasks? Handle routine business during phone calls while walking? Make one-pot meals that provide leftovers for days?
Design your ideal week
Rather than trying to fit health management into a packed schedule, start fresh. If you could design a week that honored both your health needs and your values, what would it look like? Which activities would be on your calendar? Would you go to bed earlier? Get up later?
This isn’t about perfection—it’s about intention. When you know what your ideal week looks like, you can make decisions that move you closer to it.
Mastering the strategic “no”
Every yes is a no to something else. When facing health challenges, this becomes even more important. Saying no to good opportunities creates space for great ones—including rest and recovery.
Here are some examples that can help you gracefully decline:
- My calendar is full, but I look forward to seeing you all next time.
- I’m not able to take that on right now, but thank you for thinking of me.
- That sounds wonderful, but I have to pass this time.
- I wish I could, but I’m committed to other priorities right now.
When saying no feels impossible
Sometimes we feel obligated to say yes because of guilt, fear of missing out, or concern about disappointing others. Remember: you’re not responsible for managing other people’s emotions. You are responsible for managing your own health and wellbeing.
If you’re struggling to say no, try asking yourself: “What am I saying yes to by saying no to this?” Often, you’re saying yes to rest, family time, or activities that truly matter to you.
Building meaningful connections when time is limited
It can be challenging to meet and connect with people when you spend hours driving to appointments and sitting in waiting rooms. This is a real struggle that deserves practical solutions.
In health care settings
- Strike up conversations in waiting rooms with people who might share your condition.
- Ask your health care team about support groups or educational events.
- Make virtual appointments when possible to save travel time.
- Consider scheduling multiple appointments on the same day to make the most of your travel time.
Building community with limited energy
- Join online communities related to your interests or health condition.
- Attend virtual events that don’t require travel.
- Invite people to low-energy activities like watching movies or having coffee at your home.
- Look for volunteer opportunities that match your energy levels and schedule. What can you do from home or sitting down?
When your social energy is limited, focus on relationships that truly nourish you. It’s better to have deep connections with a few people than surface-level interactions with many.
Creating flexibility within structure
“Always have a plan B,” says Cliff, who lives with epilepsy. This wisdom applies to everything from daily routines to major life plans.
- Instead of rigid meal plans, create theme nights (e.g., Pasta Monday or Soup Wednesday) that give you structure while allowing you to adjust based on how you’re feeling. After all, no one says you have to make that soup from scratch!
- Have movement options for different energy levels: a 30-minute walk for good days, gentle stretching for low-energy days, or chair exercises for when you need to rest.
- When making social plans, have alternatives ready. If you can’t make it to dinner, could friends come over for takeout instead? If you can’t attend the full event, can you go for an hour?
Practical daily strategies
The energy budget
Think of your energy like money in a bank account. You have a certain amount each day, and once it’s spent, it’s gone. Budget your energy for what matters most.
The two-list system
Make two lists: things that give you energy and things that drain it. Schedule more from the first list and fewer from the second.
The minimum viable day
What’s the smallest version of a good day? Maybe it’s taking your medication, eating one good meal, and connecting with one person. On tough days, aim for your minimum viable day rather than your ideal day.
The celebration practice
Notice and celebrate small wins. Did you choose rest over pushing through when you were exhausted? That’s a win. Did you have a good conversation with a friend? That’s a win. Did you eat a nutritious meal? That’s a win.
Moving forward with intention
You didn’t choose your health challenge, but you can choose your response to it. This doesn’t mean toxic positivity or pretending everything is fine. It means acknowledging your reality while actively deciding what matters most to you within that reality.
Your health story is still being written. Each day, you make choices about how to spend your energy, who to spend time with, and what to prioritize. These choices, accumulated over time, create the life you’re living.
The goal isn’t to return to your old life—it’s to create a new one that honors your health needs and your deepest values. This new life might look different from what you originally planned, but it can be every bit as meaningful, connected, and joyful.
What will you choose to prioritize today?
References
Neff KD, Germer CK. A pilot study and randomized controlled trial of the mindful self-compassion program. J Clin Psychol. 2013 Jan;69(1):28-44. doi: 10.1002/jclp.21923.
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